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Dearest Token, 2024

Dearest Token,


I have no idea how to get through
but it seems that the way I feel about it
is so hard for us to be.
The reason we were here, is the way we were treated
we have been since the beginning
but things that we do now
are just not going anywhere
until next level.
I keep tightly some hope in my armpit
nevertheless the pain in his bones is unbearable ;
black flies saw me from the opposite side
they will think I’m the lady of this place
because I sat down playing the piano.
My friend is facing death awfully on the mechanical bed of a hospital
and I sit useless in a sterilized room
occupied with sadness.
We will all pass through;
Future is awfully blight
much like what is happening I can predict as the end of times.
The mind has forgotten that marvellous view
bones sitting cross legged covering our grounds
thousands virgins falling from the sky
and thick dark blood is dropping on my kitchen floor
I cannot stop worrying about the future.
I killed oneself inside me
when the blood was coming out
it was the only way to get out of my body
so I had no choice but to go lying down
and get it out of the way.
I was going to do my best
just got a call from my favorite place
and the next thing I know
I’m in an uncomfortable zone.
I find no joy in killing
but death is all I can see in this picture.
I am in the middle of people around me
who have lost their minds as much as I
we are all fragile most ephemeral creatures
in this not a safe space to breathe
don’t be scared because I’ll panic too.
I will die and die I.
I remember sleeping in caves where goats slept
felt safe in places that men where in far long distance
when walking bear foot without mobile phones and money
was a necessity.
Sky has become dull through times
and time again I feel like I’m in a bad trip.
I just don’t feel like being able to do it
world is brutal
and the body is in pain.
The mind can’t see beautiful landscapes
hands can only hurt you
and words are uncomfortable.
Anger and fear has overwhelmed me
damaged communications has been keeping me isolated
for longer now.
I must create functions to enjoy my loneliness
Must ride the snake.
I did not know if it would kill the other way around
I just felt a lot better than I thought it would be.
-Last thing you need right now is a lot of pain in your body.
I just had the same thoughts about it
but it is just too painful to be able to go through it right away.
I think the worst part is about being able to go inside 
a long time without hurting yourself.
Unfortunately you have to deal with all kinds of issues of oneself
respectfully.
Lately you have been hunting my head for a number of times.
In attempt to get a hold on me
I have to say you were unkind
doctors cannot hear my cries
they get angry like you
we need a prescription
or something to take out this black sticky stuff
that has stacked between my teeth,
I have a meeting at the corner of my brain with nonfiction
so if you’re not feeling well
you should just come over and play this game with the needles
I will explain in time.
You push them around your body
then take them out

one by one carefully

without touching the others
so that you don’t get sick
please don’t mess with them !
I’m just trying to have an objective existence
around so much anger and fear
in an almost dystopian swamp
that’s awaiting to converge in a very thin slice
suitable for microscopic examination.
The hand falls but the hand can’t fly
give me your finger
squeeze it inside my palm
I’m thirsty enough to lick the juices out of my wounded palm.

 

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